I Forgive Him

This article was commissioned by and appeared at Intercessors for America

"I forgive him."

~ Erika Kirk, September 21, 2025

Imbued with eternal weightiness, those three little words spoken that day released seismic pulses through the unseen realms with unstoppable force. Those three little words commanded both angelic applause and demonic squeals as the sound presented to all of creation the magnificent currency that cripples one kingdom and magnifies the other Kingdom. Forgiveness.

My first reaction to Erika forgiving her husband's killer was unexpected: I want to see what is happening in the invisible domain right now.

I was reminded of the time when enemy armies surrounded the prophet Elisha and his servant.  Undoubtedly about to be captured, Elisha prayed for his terrified attendant:

O Lord, I pray, open his eyes so he may see.

~ II Kings 6:17

In that moment, the Lord opened the servant's eyes, and behold, he saw the hills filled with uncountable chariots of fire, positioned to do the Lord's bidding to vanquish the enemy.  When those three little words resounded through the rulers of darkness' murky lairs, I wanted to see their recoil and hear their shrieks.  Even more, I wanted to see the holy battalions emerge to illuminate this present darkness and shower the earth with the Light of heaven's glory.

Forgiveness is love's perpetual fire, burning away the infection of wrath and offense. Forgiveness is the currency of Light, purchasing the freedom of both victim and offender. 

For when you forgive your neighbor, you cleanse your own soul of enmity, and thus you make room for God's mercy to dwell in you.

~ Saint John Chrysostom (Homily on Matthew 19, c. 390 AD)

Those three little words spoken that day offer the most divine invitation to every human heart. Whether that heart be warmed and tender or iced and impenetrable, its deepest yearning is the same: Shalom. One of the most glorious words in all of scripture, shalom means to enjoy wholeness and well-being, peace with one another, harmony with creation, and deep communion with God. 

The heart that is pure and free from disturbance is the one that finds its rest in God, for it is there that true shalom resides, in the love that casts out all fear.

~ Saint Gregory of Nyssa (c. 335-395 AD)

Deficiency in forgiveness, or better said, resistance to forgive, cultivates a disturbance within the heart that breeds disruption of shalom in the body, mind, and soul.  Let the fans in the cheap seats bicker over whether Erika meant it or not.  The fact is, she did it.  

And in her act of obedience, she quoted what Jesus said from the cross he died upon:  Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.  In doing so, the world beheld what scripture calls the foolishness of our message:

For the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

~ I Corinthians 1:18

And therein lies the great and terrible divide in our country at present: Those who are being saved and those who are perishing. While I expected the caustic, calloused comments coming from the usual sources, I did not expect to see so many pastors wholly unable to discern the times and speak life into the midst of this unimaginable death.  

If nothing else, friend and foe alike should strive to comprehend and communicate the life-giving power of forgiveness, or otherwise risk the personal peril of a crippled heart.

What is Forgiveness?

When Erika said, I forgive him, what was practically and spiritually accomplished? Are we to believe her grief was assuaged or her trauma quelled?  Certainly no.  Should we assume that because she forgave, the pain and memory of this demonic murder would quickly be erased? Absolutely no. 

Our grief, trauma, pain, and memories can all be brought before The Lord, personally and intimately.  As we place them on the altar as an offering and invite His healing virtue to flow into our wounds, the restoration of shalom can begin. And while forgiveness plays a vital role in this process, there is another facet Erika invoked with those three little words. 

Both the biblical Hebrew word for forgiveness, nasa, and the Greek word aphiemi convey vibrant imagery, meaning to carry off, to lift, bear up, or take away.  The Old Testament contains a physical depiction of this imagery when the people of ancient Israel sought forgiveness. The priest would lay his hands upon a goat, effectuating a symbolic representation that the people's sins were transferred to the goat.  The goat was then set free as the people watched their sin be carried away. (This is where we get the term, scapegoat.)

When John the Baptist saw Jesus for the first time, he exclaimed:

Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world!

~ John 1:29

Takes Away

When Jesus taught us how to pray, forgiveness is the only portion of the prayer He explains afterward.

Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions

~ Matthew 6:12, 14-15

When Erika publicly confessed, I forgive him, she released the shooter from the relational consequence of his sin against her.  In effect, any emotional or spiritual tie with the shooter was taken away.  And while this act of forgiveness allows Shalom to begin restoring her heart, do not confuse her forgiveness with justice.

Forgiveness does not ignore justice, but rather transcends it within the individual.  However, civil government is still endowed with the authority to punish evildoers.  In the Book of Romans, chapter 13 explains that those who do right have nothing to fear.  But those who do wrong will incur the wrath of punishment as wielded by the state. Erika can now look forward to justice being served while also pursuing healing in her heart.

This is the Christian response of forgiveness.

. . .

During one of my trips to Rwanda, I met Pastor Francis.  I can still hear his Popeye-like laugh as I nervously rode on the back of his rickety motorcycle.  Late in our trip, he confided to me how his mother, sisters, and brother were slaughtered in the 1994 genocide.  We drove past the home, and he pointed to where the bodies fell.  His mother lay in the front yard, nearly decapitated. 

As the genocide raged on, Francis slowly snuck his way to the border, joined the rebel forces, and fought valiantly to take back the capitol.  For his service, he was appointed warden of one of the largest prisons in the country.

One day, a prisoner in an orange jumpsuit fell at Francis's feet.  Clutching his legs and weeping, he confessed, "Jesus has forgiven my sins and changed my heart."  Francis asked, "Why do you tell this to me?"

"I am the one who murdered your mother."

Francis became weak and dizzy as the ravenous spectrum of years of walled-up emotions crashed through his body at once.  Reaching for his gun, he collapsed.

While in the hospital, he had a vision of his mother.  He described to me how she was surrounded by beautiful, glorious light. As she held Jesus' hand, he heard, "I am alright, son.  Please, you must go and forgive that man."

After weeks recovering from his breakdown, he returned to his post.  He found the prisoner, who once again fell prostrate before him.  "I know I am going to heaven because Jesus forgives me.  But while I am on the earth, please, sir, you must forgive me for my crime against you."

Francis said three little words.

When the prisoners and officers saw this unimaginable act of forgiveness as the warden and prisoner embraced, revival broke out in that prison.  Guards and inmates alike repented of their sins, forgave one another, and shalom began to spread in this least likely of places.

Francis and his newly forgiven friend were permitted to travel to many prisons throughout Rwanda, sharing their story. And everywhere they went, revival broke out!  This unprecedented outpouring of grace in the prisons garnered the attention of government officials, and the National Reconciliation Movement in Rwanda was born.  

Throughout Rwanda, the perpetrators of genocide found their victims' families, confessed to the survivors, and worked to serve and restore them.  Amidst the million graves, shalom began to heal hearts and restore villages.  Francis went on to get a seminary degree and continues to serve churches throughout the country today. 

O Lord, may we all pray, "Open our eyes" to see what is happening in the invisible realms since Erika forgave her husband's murderer that day.

Three little words.